Saturday, 28 March 2020

He’s on it (3 am)


He’s on it (3 am)

He’s on it like a moth on a cabbage leaf
Like an atheist on disbelief
Like sympathy on a widow’s grief
He’s on it like a patient on pain relief
He’s on it like a ref on dirty play
Like a rough sleeper in a doorway
Like a raver on MDMA
Anastasia Steele on Christian Grey
He’s on it like Bach on a symphony
Like a poet on an epiphany
Like Guido on a conspiracy
Like a broker on a currency
He’s on it Like May on an epic fail
Like a lie on a bus on a campaign trail
Like Tory bias in the Daily Mail
He’s on it like Corbyn on a fairy tale
He’s on it like Boris on a bad hair day
Keeping Andrew Neil at bay
Bumbling on with nothing to say
But he won the election anyway
He’s on it like a box set on Netflix
He’s on it like Marr on politics
Like David Blaine on magic tricks
He’s on it like gloom on News at Six
He’s on it like moobs on middle aged men
Like scaffolding around Big Ben
Rosy red cheeks on little children
And yet more gloom on News at Ten
He’s on it like a robber in a vacant house
Like a Liverpudlian eating scouse
Like a man-monster beating his spouse
He’s on it like William shooting grouse
He’s on it like the sea on King Canute
He’s on it like Galloway with a flute
Like a sky diver on a parachute
Like milkshake on Farage’s suit
He’s on it like cream on a rash or spot
Like Guinevere on Sir Lancelot
Like Philip Green on a pension pot
Ripping it off and buying a yacht
He’s on it like a virus on a nation
Paralysing a population
In dire need of vaccination
Doctors nurses ventilation
He’s on it like Leery on an acid trip
Like an OAP on a cruise ship
Like a man with a dream on a lucky dip
Like a masochist on a madams’ whip
He’s on it like a fraudster on a scribe
He’s on it like Zelensky offered a bribe
He’s on it like Trump on a nasty jibe
A blatantly racist diatribe
He’s on it like a troll on a billy goat
Like a refugee on a crowded boat
Like a countertenor on a high note
He’s on it like Cruella on a canine coat
He’s on it like a King on a diadem
Like three wise men on Bethlehem
Like a jewel thief on a priceless gem
Like Michael Stipe on R.E.M
He’s on it like blossom on a fruit tree
He’s on it like stripes on a bumble bee
Like an early riser on a cup of tea
He’s on lockdown like you and me

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