COVID Test

 

COVID Test.

 

Prior to an impending operation,

I was required to have a COVID swab;

I went to the drive-through testing station

And there was told by a nurse on the job;

“We’ve run out of kits, I’m sorry to say;

Too many people have taken the test;

We’ll have to test you a different way”.

Then, quite suddenly, a bare arse was pressed

Against my face, and a fart it let blow;

I sat, frozen in a state of surprise;

I didn’t have time to shut the window.

The fart filled the car, brought tears to my eyes,

The nurse said to me; “Can you smell that dear?”

I replied “Yes!”, and she gave the all clear.

Damaged

 

Damaged

 

I lie awake at night in dread

Of thoughts occurring in my head

The older I get the more I find

My thoughts are damaging my mind

 

I on occasion wake from sleep

And nightmares still about me creep

They linger with malicious spite

And on my skin they sting and bite

The older I get the more I find

My thoughts are damaging my mind

 

I wish that I could make it clear

Exactly what it is I fear

It threatens poverty despair

Beneath a sign that says BEWARE

As good and evil truth and lies

All equally catastrophize

The older I get the more I find

My thoughts are damaging my mind

 

Some nights I breathe a final breath

The kind you feel when facing death

I gasp awake before I fall

The heedless world sleeps through it all

With clarity I see no trace

Of hope upon a helpless race

And somehow feeling I’m to blame

For every single human shame

I slumber having lost the fight

Against the terrors of the night

The older I get the more I find

My thoughts are damaging my mind

 

In days gone by I welcomed dawn

And I with every stretch and yawn

Would shed the night-time ghouls away

Embrace the newness of the day

Contemporary monsters burn

Oh how for youthful days I yearn

When I could easily ignore

The demons banging on the door

These days the demons overwhelm

More doubtful I defend my realm

I manage still but only just

To shut out their persistent thrust

And I enfeebled by each doubt

Have barely strength to keep them out

The older I get the more I find

My thoughts are damaging my mind

 

Old Bones

 

 

Old bones

A skeleton from the closet, jumped out,

Staggered around, by the edge of the bed,

And, conjuring cans and bottles about,

He sang me an ode, lamenting the dead:

Buried memories, long since forgotten,

Paralytic phantoms, ghosts from the past;

Tales drink related, shameful and rotten,

I heard, as I froze and silently gasped,

And when he’d finished his terrible song,

(The lyrics of which I’ll not tell a soul),

With skeletal hands, incredibly strong,

He tugged and twisted, and threw off his skull,

And into my lap that damaged skull fell;

Alas, alcoholic; I knew him well.

Sore Loser

 

Sore Loser 

Trump, turning a shade of the deepest red;

Tweeted, retweeted, and tweeted again;

The postal votes are fraudulent, he said;

Demanding said votes be counted again.

He sat on the toilet, tweeted some more,

Went to his bedroom, applied orange tan,

QAnonaded Twitter with tweets galore,

Incautiously risking a Twitter ban.

The votes, rising in favour of Biden,

In spite of Trump’s tweets continued to mount,

And as he watched that winning gap widen,

He tweeted, demanding a ballot recount.

But so far it seems, no law’s been broken;

Trump’s still tweeting; the people have spoken.