COVID this Christmas
Try to imagine a Christmas all alone
Tied to a laptop a tablet or a phone
That’s where I’ll be
Since they tested me
There’s no place I can go
With a double bar
On my PCR
And on my lateral flow
It’ll be COVID this Christmas
Life is on hold
It’ll be COVID this Christmas
Not flu or a cold
It’s not a cold
Oh no
I’m out of the fold
This Christmas
Glockenspiel
Shrouded mist of
Old grey matter
Mixed with untold
Ruthless clatter
Clambers up a
Wooded hill
Lights upon
A glockenspiel
Dancing like a
Wounded whore
Beadles bless
The sick and poor
Hand viands to
Lords and ladies
Sell to beggars
New Mercedes
Spoilers spill
A drop or two
I can see it
Seeping through
Eyes and noses
Ears as well
Fractured faeces
Smears the bell
As the DJ
Plugs his decks
Lenin’s rubber duck
Reflects
Doormen cry
For mothers dear
Monty’s Python
Shifts a gear
Wanton dogs
Of war resume
Slide the leisure
Centre flume
Mast the ship
Peruse the book
Sleep till farmers
Beat the rook
Empath
I know a mystic empath, self-proclaimed,
Who daily posts sickly memes on Facebook;
Fanciful narcissists are named and shamed,
For all bad decisions and paths mistook.
He further claims to commune with the dead,
For whom he’s perpetually grieving;
Relatives and friends, comfort him in bed;
Closer, now ghosts, than when they were breathing.
He doesn’t cling to fake friends anymore,
Ex-lovers no longer injure his pride;
He’s stronger these days than ever before,
His doubters, he ruthlessly casts aside,
For likeminded empaths, self-deluded,
Eager to please and to be included.
Come on over to my place
Jacob, Dom and Pritti,
I see you are Tory blue,
Everybody’s staying home
But that don’t apply to you
Come on over to my place
Hey Gove, we’re having a party
Sajid, Nadine, Kwasi, George, Ben
And Rishi, come on over tonight
Now you all know the address,
Where our do will be,
I spoke to the policeman standing outside,
He said, that’s alright by me
Come on over to my place,
Hey Liz, we’re having a party
Simon, Alok, Oliver, Grant,
And Brandon, come on over tonight
I know you’re tired of COVID,
Let’s have some cheese and wine,
As for the people I’ve been deceiving,
They’re no friends of mine
Oh David baby,
Come on over to my place,
Hey Nat, we’re having a party,
Anne-Marie, Kit, Nigel, Michelle
And Simon, come on over tonight
Blub blub blub
Come on over to my place,
All my Conservative party,
Will be swigging, munching and sniffing,
Allegra won’t you come over tonight
Blub blub blub
Come on over to my place,
We’re blue; we’re having a party,
We’ll be grinning, and next year be spinning,
All our voters are in lockdown tonight
Blub blub blub.
Irrelevance
A failure artist limp-wristed
Decidedly bitter and twisted
Used oratory skills
To top all the bills
And countless admirers enlisted
