At the end of the day

At the end of the day

At the end of the day

She was the kind of person

Who at the drop of a hat

Would present a plate of food

Anything from biscuits

Baked beans on toast        

Curry or Sunday roast

               

She was the kind of person

Who would mop up blood

With a bucket and sponge

No second thought

Disgust or regret

With fortitude I’ll never forget

She was the kind of person who

Held people together like glue

Stood by her family

And her friends too

Didn’t suffer fools

Was loyal and true

Loved to have a laugh

And a drink or two

Faced down a problem

And saw it through

A better person

I never knew

Today I’m very mindful that

Once upon a time I was indeed

(Though she never made me feel)

A dire friend in need

Today I’m very mindful that

Her cloak that fitted like a glove

Was woven with humour

Kindness and love

Today I’m very mindful that

Aside from all my praising

To everyone who knew her

She was genuinely amazing

I wish she’d  had a longer time

Not cut by illness in her prime

And the world today is less of a place

Without her smile and beautiful face

She was the kind of person

Who made things better

By being there

And I miss her

More than words can say

She was my best friend

At the end of the day

Crime and punishment

Crime and punishment

What motivates a reckless achiever’s

Drive, ambition and animosity?

He lies to himself and his believers;

He justifies every atrocity.

Under the title; “Great”, he’s permitted

To commit all manner of ruthless crimes;

Culpability’s never admitted.

Climbing the ladder to glorious times,

Backed by the worshiping majority,

The villain emerges as a hero;

Justices, under his authority,

Are trivialised and reduced to zero.

Crimes, unpunished, instead are rewarded

And heroic accolades accorded.

Q

Q

Outside the surgery

Of the last GP in town

People with sleeping bags

Were sitting on the ground

Eating bacon sandwiches

Drinking mugs of tea

One grabbed me by the entrance

And screamed impatiently 

Get to the back of the queue mate

We’ve been here all night

Get to the back of the Queue you mug

Unless you want a fight

Who the Hell do you think you are

Are you taking the piss

Get to the back of the queue you

I’m having none of this

His ranting and his raving

Was more than I could bear

And he was supported

By a dozen others there

So I turned and walked away

There was nothing I could do

But wait and stand in line

At the back end of the queue

Daylight turned to dusk

Dusk turned into night

The queue stretched ever onwards

Without an end in sight

I sat down on the pavement

Collapsing in a heap

And an old lady said to me

As I fell asleep

Get to the back of the queue come on

You’re sitting in my spot

Get to the back of the queue young man

I’m desperate and you’re not

I need a new prescription

I’m older than you by far

Get to the back of the queue you

Who do you think you are

I walked all through the night

And all the next morning too

And in the afternoon

There was still no end in view

I hopped onto a bus

For a twenty minute ride

Got off at the station

And joined the queue outside

I bought a railway ticket

And from London caught a train

All the way down to Land’s End

And then back up again

To John O’Groats in Scotland

But the queue still never ended

Through villages, towns and cities

It’s lengthening extended

I caught a train back to Essex

Where I jostled past

Angry people in the garden

Camping on the grass

And as I turned the key

In the lock of my front door

I was deafened by the sound

Of an ear-drum splitting roar

Get to the back of the queue pal

Stop trying to push in front

Get to the back of the queue son

You selfish Jeremy Hunt

I’m sick of people pushing in

It ought to be a crime

Get to the back of queue you

I’ve told you one last time

After I explained to him

That this is where I live

And I‘d seriously run out

Of flying fucks to give

I made a reluctant phone call

And in desperation

Took out a second mortgage

For a private consultation

And looking out the window

At the people still outside

Thinking about what cuts

To public services implied

I started feeling guilty

For taking the private route

And robbing the NHS

Of a valuable recruit

I picked up the phone again

With guilt still in my head

Cancelled the consultation

Got undressed went to bed

And fell asleep and dreamed of

Wandering up and down

A never ending queue to see

The last GP in town

And if there’s a conclusion

I don’t know what it is

But leaving open-ended

Would be very much remiss

So by way of a denouement

Here’s my advice to you

If you need to see the last GP

Join the fucking queue!

Yes

Yes

My wife said to me

Somewhat anxiously

I’m very much in love

With you today

And I want a word with you

Tell me do you love me too

So I answered

In a reassuring way

Does honey come from bees

Do squirrels climb up trees

Do turtles nest

And lay eggs on the beach

Are the Rolling Stones a band

Does the universe expand

Did George the sixth

Have problems with his speech

Does Hamilton race cars

Did Churchill smoke cigars

Are quarks the smallest

Objects known to science

Did Lawrence ride a camel

Is a killer whale a mammal

Was Ghandi jailed for

Passive non-compliance

Are rhinoceroses rare

Is Bill Gates a Billionaire

Was Pennywise a demon

In disguise

Was Biggie Smalls a rapper

Is a WC a crapper

Do flies eat shit

Have spiders got eight eyes

Was Al Capone a Mobster

Did Dali paint a lobster

Does Grayson Perry

Sometimes wear a dress

Was George Elliot female

Did Sir Francis Drake set sail

Are there strawberries and

Meringues in Eton Mess

Have banks done dodgy deals

Do polar bears eat seals

Do British trains get

Cancelled due to snow

Did Caligula lose the plot

Does a Bentley cost a lot

Was Trotsky taken out

In Mexico

Are battery hens abused

Was Victoria unamused

Did Sally Gunell win

Olympic gold

Are the icecaps in decline

Does a grape grow on a vine

Are the pyramids of

Giza very old

Do fruit trees flower in spring

Could Pavarotti sing

Did David Bailey

Take a photograph

Are the seas and rivers wet

Does Las Vegas take a bet

Did Gandalf face

The Balrog with his staff

Was Philip born in Greece

Did Theresa cut the police

Did Cameron shag a pig’s

Head in a club

Does Tiger Woods play golf

Should kids keep away from Rolf

Did Mufasa die

When Simba was a cub

Is the pope a catholic

Is Titanium metallic

Was Kasparov 

Much good at playing chess

Is calamari squid

Would you like a million quid

Do I love you darling

Absolutely

Yes!