Wednesday, 25 January 2017

The (British) Citizen

The (British) Citizen

Went out for a drink one Friday night
And ended up nearly getting into a fight
It wasn’t my fault; I was being polite
And I didn’t really have much choice
I was innocently standing at the bar
Talking to a stranger “blah di blah”
When he crossed the line, went a bit too far
Shouting in a very loud voice:

“An asylum seeker or a refugee
Coming over here and getting stuff for free
Should NOT be allowed in MY country
And I’m not a racist BUT……
What are they coming over here for?
Do you want a Muslim living next door?
This country’s full we can’t take more
Our borders should be SHUT!
I’m not a racist but I have to say
Why should all that tax I pay
Go to foreign places far away
No I’m not a racist BUT……
There’re too many foreigners over here
Our women and children live in fear
Enoch Powell had the right idea
His vision was clear CUT
I’m not a racist but I don’t see
Why I should feel any sympathy
If someone coming here illegally
Winds up getting DROWNED
Our economy’s in bits
All immigrants claiming benefits
At the cost of us hard working Brits
Should be shipped homeward BOUND
I’m not a racist I’ve got a black mate
It’s only Muslims that I hate
They’re the ones that refuse to integrate
They need to UNDERSTAND
That this is England, not Iran
Or Syria or Pakistan
We read the Bible not the Quran
And the Burka should be BANNED
I’m not a racist I’m a UKIP man
I hate the European plan
But I’m not a racist RIGHT?
I want to go back to the good old days
Of British culture British ways
When Rule Britannia ruled the waves
Predominantly WHITE!”

At first I didn’t know what to say
And normally I keep trouble at bay
But I was tired and I’d had a bad day
And the drink had gone to my head
So I stood there a while and thought for a bit
Bought another beer, had a sip of it
And with an angry face and a mouth full of spit
I turned to the man and said:

“I’m sorry but I have to disagree
That’s a racist rant as far as I can see
I don’t even know why you’re talking to me
You say you’re not a racist BUT…….
Your BRITAIN FIRST badge, Your Powell tattoo
Your BRITISH NATIONALIST point of view
Tells me all I need to know about you
Your mind is clearly SHUT!
You say you’re not a racist and then imply
That British born Muslims should wave GOODBYE
And refugees should be left to DIE
You say you’re not a racist BUT…….
Your message came through loud and clear
You don’t want immigrants living here
So you preach the hatred and the fear
Of a bigoted far right NUT
I don’t want to know what’s in your head
You should have told someone else instead
Someone a little bit more brain dead
Would agree with what you say
All the people you hate are human too
With needs and feelings just like you
What would you think if I said to you
I’m happy for them to STAY?
You say you’re not a racist and then you state
That it’s only Muslims that you hate
Cos they refuse to integrate
But you need to UNDERSTAND
That England’s a multicultural place
With all kinds of creed, colour and race
Every woman’s got a right to cover their face
And the burka should NOT be banned!
And as for UKIP let me explain
I don’t care if you voted leave or remain
The stuff that’s going on inside your brain
Is far from being alright
The working class never ruled the waves
In the past we weren’t much more than slaves
If you want to go back to those good old days
You really are full of SHITE!”

And with that being said I turned away
Being quite prepared to let it lay
But the nationalist looked far from OK
And he didn’t want let it rest
He called me a “Traitor” and a “Left wing dick”
A “Muslim lover” and a “COMMUNIST prick”
And he said I had a face he’d love to kick
And he poked me in the chest
And I thought “I’m not putting up with that”
So I looked him in the eye and said “YOU PRAT”
And as he smiled like a Cheshire cat
A voice whispered in my ear;
“Don’t mess with him he’s a nutcase son
The best thing you can do is RUN
Don’t try and take him on mate you’ll get done
It’s time you was out of HERE”

A group of bouncers dragged me outside
Saying “He’s our mate, you’ve hurt his pride”
As from the entrance the NATIONALIST cried
“I’ll kill the little SHIT!”
And as he shouted he slung a chair
He didn’t notice or even care
That there were other people everywhere
It was like he was he having a FIT!
I ran as the bouncers held him back
But the chair in the air was still on track
It exploded behind me with a “CRACK”
That’ll haunt me in my dreams
And the ranting and the raving could still be heard
The poisonous HATRED, every word
Not a trace of HUMANITY  could be inferred
In those maniacal SCREAMS

But what kept me awake when I turned off the light
Was so many others thought he was right
I was well and truly outnumbered that night
Not sharing his point of view
And that night I nearly paid the price
For not keeping schtum, or being nice
But then again why I should think twice?


Sunday, 1 January 2017

New Year

New Year’s resolution

When a boiler stops working
And the weather’s cold
A gas engineer’s worth his weight
In gold

When a car slows down
And its engine dies
A breakdown mechanic’s a sight
For sore eyes

When someone collapses
With pains in their chest
Emergency staff is
Humanity’s best

If you’re fixing a boiler
Or mending a car
It’s irrelevant to me
What your politics are
If you’re making me well
Looking after my health
I don’t care for your views
On poverty or wealth

When a tile needs replacing
And the roof has a leek
The hero of the hour
Is the builder we seek

When a lock is broken
And the door’s shut tight
The locksmith’s appearance
Is a wondrous sight

When a pipe has burst
And water pours out
A plumber’s a saviour
Of that there’s no doubt

If you’re fixing a roof
Or changing a lock
Or mending a pipe
Or unblocking a block
If you’re out on call
Any time day or night
I don’t care if you vote
For the left or the right

From today, my New Year’s
Resolution will be
To keep my mouth shut
If I don’t agree
With your point of view
Cos when all’s said and done
We all have to interact
Under the sun
And so (with my tongue
Firmly lodged in my cheek)
I pledge to be silent
(At least for a week)
About things political
All thoughts I’ll keep
To myself
As of now
From me
Not a peep