Vegan fail

Fillet of steak was a favourite course

Served rare and bloody with thickly cut chips,

Tomatoes, mushrooms and peppercorn sauce,

And many a time would he wipe his lips,

As he chewed and swallowed in between sips

Of Malbec or Shiraz of deepest red,

Prior to mopping with crusty French bread.

One day, in a paper, he read a tale

Of a cow and her calf, badly beaten;

He pondered the fate of cattle for sale;

Milked nigh to death and finally eaten;

He thus researched, and upon completion,

Decided he no longer fancied steaks,

Milk in his coffee, or on his cornflakes.

He did more research, and gave up on cheese,

Butter, eggs, and all other dairy fare.

He turned attention to the rivers, seas,

And the mammals and fishes living there.

He mused on fishermen’s nets in despair.

Suffice to say, he no longer ate fish;

Haddock or cod had no place on his dish.

He suffered the ridicule of his peers

They called him rude names (though mostly in jest),

And when he joined them for after work beers,

His diet was sorely put to the test;

He’d guzzled too much, along with the rest,

And at closing time ended up on the street,

In search of more beer and something to eat.

And alas, his veganism was shed;

The gallon of lager led him astray,

A meat craving switch turned on in his head,

And to the kebab house he found his way,

Where a doner ended his brief foray.

The lure of the lamb was hard to ignore;

He was defeated; a vegan no more.

These days he’s oft at the dinner table,

Awaiting a fillet of rare cooked steak.

He’d tried for a while, but wasn’t able

To live on a solely vegan intake,

The pledges were all too easy to break;

He’s back to being an omnivore now,

In spite of the calf and suffering cow.