Thursday, 18 December 2014

A day off

A day off

Security at all airports in the UK
Will be non-existent for just one day
Passport control told the government to stick it
Go board a plane
All you need is a ticket

A police announcement at the same time
Said that drink driving will not be a crime
For one day only it’s not be a big deal
To drink another double
And get behind the wheel

The fire service are spending the day in bed
No fires will be put out today they said
For twenty four hours they intend to retire
So grab a box of matches
And go start a fire

From this dawn till the next no hospital will
Be responsible for anyone seriously ill
The sick will be told to go to Hell
Today is not a good one
For being unwell

In a further announcement the police released
A statement all patrolling has ceased
They’ll be no recordings on CCTV
Go ram raid a shop
Grab something for free

And all drugs are legal and kids can get drunk
Snort lines of coke and smoke joints of skunk 
There’s no age restriction today there’s no need
Go spend your pocket money
On alcohol and weed

Back to work

Woke up the next day and the news was filled
With numerous plane crashes and countless killed
No clues found no established facts
No reasons for so many
Terrorist attacks

On motorways vehicles stacked up in piles
Mangled dead bodies for miles and miles
The police have advised don’t travel by car
The roads are shut
You won’t get very far

Then came breaking news an aerial view
Of smoke so thick no one could see through
The reporter said no survivors found
Westminster’s gone
It’s been burnt to the ground

The phone rang and I sat up in bed
I answered and a voice at the other end said
I have some bad news I’m so sorry to say
Your father very peacefully
Passed away

I cried for a while got up and dressed
Feeling physically drained and totally depressed
I went outside and to my despair
The garage door was broken
The car wasn’t there

And where was my wife when this day begun?
She was busy looking after our son
Who was coming round from being out cold
His first time paralytic
At twelve years old

Back to bed

Standing in the street tears barely contained
I reflect on behaviour unrestrained
Then I turn around and shut it all away
I’m going back to bed
I can’t face it today.

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