Monday, 24 May 2021
Weather Report
Monday, 17 May 2021
Lebensraum
Monday, 10 May 2021
Curry And The Wind
Curry and the wind
How many beers can a man sink down
Before he can no longer walk?
How many hot chillies can be consumed
With prawns, lamb, chicken or pork?
Yes, and how many leakages can be stopped
By plugging the source with a cork?
The answer my friend, is curry and the wind,
The answer is curry and the wind.
How many dumps must some people take
Until they need to no more?
How many hours before they’re pain-free,
Relieved and no longer sore?
Yes, and how many times can a liquid run
Before it ceases to pour?
The answer my friend, is curry and the wind
The answer is curry and the wind.
How many times can a drunk be banned
From restaurants and bars in his town?
How many pans can be pebble dashed
In shades, variations of brown?
Yes, and how many bed sheets will spouses change
Before they desert their old clown?
The answer my friend, is curry and the wind
The answer is curry and the wind.
Saturday, 8 May 2021
Botox
Botox
Cynthia with a syringe
Shot Botox into her minge
Then just for a lark
She streaked in the park
And gave an old todger a twinge
Friday, 7 May 2021
A Girl Of Nineteen
A Girl Of Nineteen
In a French castle’s keep of yesteryear,
Rapists, guarding their prisoner, dwelt,
I fancy ghostly memories here;
Echoes of pain, both given and felt,
Where once a heretic, so deemed to be,
By pro-British triers, spent her last night;
Only an adolescent was she,
Dressed in male clothing, lest the guards might
With unbridled lust and demonic desire,
Commit outrages of sexual incline:
She, for those garments, was put to the fire
By bishops and earls with politick design.
As the flames touched, imagine her pain;
I’ll wager nobody perusing this can:
Posthumously, she was tried again,
Found innocent, and after a span
Of four centuries, they made her saint;
An irony striking me as obscene,
Pondering rulers who showed no restraint,
When burning alive a girl of nineteen.