Dom

Dom

When she had the dread disease

That brought the country to its knees

The government advisor’s spouse

Should have stayed inside the house

In isolation for a spell

Along with Dominique as well

According to the rules set down

By Dom the party and the clown

But clearly having none have that

She called her husband for a chat

And consequently off they fled

To Durham many miles ahead

Where baby sitters just in case

Resided at Dom’s parent’s place

There being not a single one

In London who could have their son

Should Dom and Mary start to feel

Both equally extremely ill

And sure enough Dom did indeed

The next day follow Mary’s lead

He had to spend some days in bed

With fever and an aching head

And when his son went in decline

The remedy was 999

But it was nothing thankfully

A test proclaimed him COVID free

And some days later Dom himself

Was feeling in much better health

He made a call to those in power

And told them he felt better now

But Mary was quite worried still

She wasn’t going home until

She knew his eyes were at their best

And so therefore at her request

To make quite sure that he could see

Dominque drove his family

To Barnard Castle where he found

His eyesight to be safe and sound

It was the simplest of trials

That half hour trip of thirty miles

But Dominque unwittingly

Albeit acting flippantly

In view of nothing being said

About the trip that went ahead

Has started now a brand new trend

Inasmuch as I comprehend

Now if you have COVID 19

And babysitters can’t be seen

You can visit most anywhere

Go on a daytrip once you’re there

And if your vision is impaired  

All prosecution will be spared

As long as you remember to

Say that’s what Dominique would do

Chy Nah

Chy Nah

It’s all the fault of China

Said the grabber of vagina

And believers in the dream

Of America supreme

Golden pavements private health

Enterprise expansive wealth

And Hydroxychloroquine

Hailed the man with orange skin

With a God Almighty roar

As they psyched themselves for war

For nothing could be finer

Than enmity with China

Corona comes from China

The COVID grand designer

Was suggested to the crowd

Of disciples white and proud

Waving flags for whom God saves

With decedents owning slaves

Decent folk Trump does declare

To reporters everywhere

Not condemning their attacks

On guiltless jogging blacks

And other things quite minor

Compared with crimes of China

Let’s go to war with China

And make the tariffs higher

Hinted Donald in a tone

Like Greg Stillson’s in Dead Zone

He was merely talking trade

But the groundwork’s being laid

For a possible exchange

Of ballistics fired long range

Or at least it seems to me

That’s a possibility

When every Trump one-liner

Appears to end with China

Insomina

Insomnia 

How is a street of houses not hice

If more than one mouse is ruled to be mice?

Why do the measurements height and weight   

Respectively rhyme with white and mate?

How can an H be silent in hour

What is the purpose of K in knowhow?

Where is the logic in peer or fear

If pear's like dare and deer's like near?

Why does a wound not have the same sound

As pound except when a clock’s being wound?

How can the plural of hoof be hooves

Or hoofs when roofs can no longer be rooves?

Why have an N in damns but not grams?

How no sheeps when there can be lambs?

What is the need of an E in more?

Twos Os in door yet never in law?

The GHT residing in bright

Silently present in fight delight

Insight and blight but not so in bite

Mite spite kite rite or stalagmite

Has kept me awake for many a night

And try as I might with eyes shut tight 

I toss and turn in sleepless flight

Considering words like freight and sleight.

Great Britain

Great Britain

Equity sharing and healthcare free,

Would surely make Britain a "Great" place to be,

Yet a more and more private and a nationalist state,

Might now be for Britain, and won't make it "Great".

Miracle Cure

Miracle cure

Outside the house,

As Trump announced,

To a journalist in a meeting,

That disinfectant and UV light,

Would give Corona a beating,

His legion fans,

Gave praise to their

Republican messiah,

And disbelieving Democrats,

Said now he should retire.

Chorus:

We knew from the start,

Deep down in our hearts,

That Trump and sanity

Are worlds apart,

And the Donald said,

Never mind, Detox it will be

And UV.

The theme of the sermon

Was come unto to me;

I’ve heard to my delight,

That COVID can be beaten,

By a very powerful light,

I’ve been advised

That ultraviolet

Is the way to healing,

And injecting disinfectant

Inside is almost a cleaning.

Chorus:

We knew from the start,

Deep down in our hearts,

That Trump and sanity

Are worlds apart,

And the Donald said,

Never mind, Detox it will be

And UV.

Before the watching

Eyes of many,

He spoke a load of shite:

He said that there

Would be a test,

“Sounds Interesting right?”

And billions around the world,

Thought he’d lost his mind,

It seemed like he believed,

He was the saviour of mankind.

Is Donald crazy?

I heard somebody say,

That lockdown will be over,

If his voters

Get their way.

Disinfectant

Manufacturers,

Were eager to explain,

That Lysol isn’t meant to be

Injected in the vein,

And the next day,

Trump attended an

Oval office bill signing,

Sneering at reporters there

And vehemently denying.

Chorus:

We knew from the start,

Deep down in our hearts,

That Trump and sanity

Are worlds apart,

And the Donald said,

Never mind, Detox it will be

And UV.

We’re in a time

When truth and lies

Are endlessly elastic,

And he insisted in the meeting,

He was being “Sarcastic”,

With reporters

Just “Like you”,

When he raised the question,

Of household disinfectant

Being taken by injection.

Is Donald crazy?

Has he gone insane?

In any case,

He’s on the stage

And telling lies again.

Four more years

Of total bullshit

From the one who maunders

Biden is a rival

When you could have

Bernie Saunders.

Donald lives to lie another day

With disciples, running wild,

Canvassing and cheering

For that maniac man-child.

Chorus:

We knew from the start

Deep down in our hearts

That Trump and sanity

Are worlds apart,

And the Donald said,

Never mind Detox it will be

And UV.

Autobiography

Autobiography.

I started an autobiography;

A tale of what I as a boy went through,

But by the first paragraph, I could see,

It would be of no interest to you,

Unless you want to hear a sad old fool’s

Reminiscences of reluctant fights,

Nasty teachers, crap secondary schools,

Exam failures, bullies, sleepless nights,

Vandalism, boredom, aggravation,

Suicidal feelings, blood, broken glass

Beatings, bullshit, put downs, hesitation,

And being a total pain in the arse,

Frustrated, confused and angst-ridden youth;

An everyday kid, to tell you the truth.

But history is a malleable thing,

Fair often moulded beyond all recall;

Whether a beggar, queen, pauper or king,

The same rules apply for one and for all:

When writing an autobiography,

If one doesn’t wish to do ones’ self-down,

The glory should outweigh the infamy,

The hero should overshadow the clown,

The tome should be brimming with greatness’s;

Sagacious quotations worthy of stone,

Predestined for share-worthy statuses,

Via a tablet, laptop, or smartphone,

And I share these pearls of wisdom because,

The older I get, the better I was.

 

Face mask in a ditch

Face mask in a ditch

I saw a mask dropped in a ditch

By a thoughtless son of a bitch,

Or, to be fair, it could’ve been,

The daughter of a drama queen,

The brother of a millionaire,

The sister of a French au pair,

The wife of a chiropodist,

The husband of a physicist,

The grandad of an errant son,

The nanny of a catholic nun,    

The mother of a know-it-all,

The father of a criminal.

I saw a mask that doctors wear,

Dumped seemingly, without a care,

I wonder who the perp could be:

A rail worker on ecstasy?

A vicar with an axe to grind?

A policeman with a twisted mind?

A factory worker running late?

A banker in a frenzied state?

A milkman with a messed up head?

A news reporter, keen to spread? 

A roofer with a wrongful view?

A chef who didn’t think it through?

I saw a piece of PPE,

Discarded very recklessly,

Left by someone feeling vile,

Or maybe living in denial:

It’s really quite beyond my guess,

I’m ruminating, more or less,

But seriously, I have to say,

A person who would act that way,

As things progress from bad to worse

Is adding to the COVID curse,

By dumping stuff that spreads disease,

When public health is on its knees.