Seagull on a bag of chips

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Twelve days of xmas



Tis the season bla bla bla........

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.......
....a jumper that didn't fit.
On the second day of Christmas my true love and me........
............had a row over it.
On the third day of Christmas my true love said to me........
...."why are you so miserable?"
On the forth day of Christmas my true love went for me......
...............with a kitchen stool.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love couldn't see........
...any reason to stay.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love packed her things
........and went away.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me......
......her wedding ring.
On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me..........
.....absolutely nothing.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love wrote to me.........
......asking for a divorce
On the tenth day of Christmas I sent her my reply...................
..........it said "of course"
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love came back........
.......but only to get some more things
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love isn't here.............
And the telephone never rings
Posted by Barry King at 13:59 No comments:
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Friday, 11 December 2015

Way to go



Based on a true story:
Way to go
Some guy on the news today
Paid half a million quid
For a personalised number plate
I swear that’s what he did
Half a million for a plate
That’s numbered twenty five zero
Way to go
Way to go
Way to go
And earlier on today
He'd bought another one as well
Over a hundred and thirty thousand
For the plate two fifty L
He said “I was determined”
It’s a “privilege” don’t you know
Way to go
Way to go
Way to go
Posted by Barry King at 13:46 No comments:
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Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Futureshock



Looking through my folder containing my old poems: Here's one I wrote around 1990. I think it's rather prophetic in its way.
Where did that building go?
You know the one I mean
It used to be a chip shop
Now it's nowhere to be seen
It just took off in the night
Disappeared to outer space
And a two-storey office block's
Been put there in it's place
And is it my imagination?
I really cannot say
If that car park standing opposite
Was there before today
It's so big and domineering
Cars are parked on every floor
And I wonder why I've never even noticed it before
Where did all the shops go?
You know the ones I mean
The Butchers and the Greengrocers
Are nowhere to be seen
And the Bakeries, the Market stalls,
The sweet shops, all have gone;
No Off-licence, no Tobacconist
There must be something wrong
The Cinema, The swimming pool
The cafe and the bar
The Bike shop and the Clothes shop
And the shop that sells guitars
And the record shop, The Furniture shop
All much to my dismay
Have packed their cases over-night
And simply moved away
Where did that precinct come from?
You know the one I mean
With its endless special offers
And its shops so new and clean
And that great big Supermarket
That wasn't there yesterday
And neither was that Jewelers
Or that Fast-food take-away
Strange new buildings everywhere
As if by magic they appear
And when I come back tomorrow I wonder,
Will they still be here?
Or will they, too, be replaced
By different buildings large and small
Knocked down without a trace
Like they were never there at all
Posted by Barry King at 06:19 No comments:
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