Big bad John

Here's one from around 1990

BIG BAD JOHN.

If you saw him walking round on the building site
With his big pot belly, held in tight
You wouldn't think for a minute he's a transvestite
John by day, Janice by night
He was the toughest looking bloke you've ever met
But at night he was a secret suffragette
In stiletto heels and tights, fishnet

Stuck in the closet with no - one near
Eating TV dinners in his TV gear

One day he went out and shut the door
Dressed up like a female paramour
He'd forgotten to change and what was more
He'd dropped his keys on the living room floor

So there he stood unsteady on his feet
Dressed up as a woman in a busy street

In a state of panic he nearly died
All he wanted to do was run and hide
And the only way to get back inside
Was the upstairs window, open wide

And the only way to get up there for sure
Was to borrow the ladder from the man next door

So carefully he went almost in a crawl
To the ladder leaning up against the wall
Then like a startled princess dressed for a ball
He froze to the sound of his neighbour's call

"What d'you think you're doing you thieving cow?
You'd better put that ladder down right NOW!"

And a look of terror was in John's eyes
As he prayed he wouldn't be recognised
And that his neighbour might not realise
It was him dressed up in a woman's guise

But the neighbour's surprise left him in no doubt
That his personal secret was finally out

His neigbour said "Christ, I never knew
I'd never have guessed it in a man like you
This must be a dream it can't be true
You see, I like wearing women's clothing too!"

So now they're running a club in the centre of town
For all the other transvestites around
No longer in the closet, safe and sound

Both femininely happy with the life they've found